LeaderImpact Podcast
LeaderImpact Podcast
Ep. 66 - Carlamay Sheremata - Success is Never Giving Up
Carlamay Sheremata's story is one of resilience, persistence, and an unwavering commitment to empowering the youth. She shares how a desire for gender equality drove her unexpected career in law enforcement and gives us a sneak peek into her upcoming book, "Youth Truth: Engaging in Conversations that Can Change Lives." Her journey is sure to inspire and motivate anyone facing their own challenges.
Carlamay highlights how her Christian values have influenced her leadership style and everyday interactions. We'll also explore how participating in LeaderImpact groups has fostered profound personal and professional growth for her and many others.
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Welcome to the Leader Impact Podcast. We are a community of leaders with a network in over 350 cities around the world, dedicated to optimizing our personal, professional and spiritual lives to have impact. This show is where we have a chance to listen and engage with leaders who are living this out. We love talking with leaders, so if you have any questions, comments or suggestions to make this show even better, please let us know. Best way to stay connected in Canada is through our newsletter at leaderimpactca or on social media at Leader Impact. If you're listening from outside of Canada, check out our website at leaderimpactcom. I'm your host, Lisa Peters, and our guest today is Carlamay Sheremata.
Speaker 1:Carlamay, with over two decades of dedicated service, she has navigated the diverse landscape of law enforcement, contributing her skills to various specialty units. As a passionate advocate for empowerment, particularly of Ca rlamay, worked tirelessly to uplift and support those around her. Carlamay's journey has been marked by resilience, overcoming the challenges of surviving cancer, embracing single parenthood and navigating the complexities of PTSD diagnosis. Embracing the unconventional, Carlamay never conformed to societal expectations, choosing instead to live outside the confines of the proverbial box, paving her unique path with purpose and determination. Beyond her commitment to law enforcement, Carlam ay channeled her experiences into a compelling narrative.
Speaker 1:Through writing a book, she strives to bridge the generational gap, shedding light on what youth learn for their parents, teachers and friends to comprehend. Her exploration delves into the unspoken desires, offering insights into the questions that linger in their minds, fostering a deeper understanding and connection. It's her endeavor to amplify the voices of the younger generation and facilitate meaningful conversations that transcend the conventional boundaries of communication. Welcome to the show, Carlam ay. Thank you, excited to be here. It is great to have you, and you have a book coming out. I didn't even know that until I read your bio.
Speaker 2:Yes, I do. It's called Youth Truth: Engaging in Conversations that Can Change Lives.
Speaker 1:Wow. Well, I hope we'll talk about that, We'll bring that up. We're going to get started, though, and we you know cause we always start with hearing a little bit more about you. So we want to hear a little bit about about your professional story and how you got to where you are today, and if you have a couple of snapshots, you know those pivotal turning points along the way, Sure.
Speaker 2:Well, so I I guess I was raised in in, I was born in Edmonton, alberta, canada, and moved to an early age or at an early age to Calgary and I had always I guess I'd always loved working with youth and youth had always been something that was on my kind of on my heart. So even going to youth group early on and helping out, you know, in the nursery and with the younger kids and that kind of stuff, I really really enjoyed that. And as I went on and finished university, I really wanted to work with young girls and kind of empower them in some way that I could. But when I went forward to ask if I could start, you know, doing that and working within the schools, I was told I had to go back and get a teaching degree and I did not want to be a teacher. So I pivoted around and ended up going to in the oil and gas side of things and started working in PR and marketing of things. And started working in PR and marketing and once that kind of came to a head, at that point as a female it was hard to be able to move up back then and this was, say, 20 plus, actually almost 30 years ago, and so I was feeling kind of stuck, but yet I felt, as a woman, I still had so much to offer, just like the guys have to offer, and so I started looking at things and different careers of where women and men doing the same jobs get paid the same, and well, and you know, because I was tired of some of these guys. You know they're making their millions of dollars and don't know how to turn a photo back then a photocopier, you know, or their computers on or that kind of stuff, but yet I really believe that both men and women have so much to offer together that we could do so much as teams and funny policing kind of came forward, and my grandfather was with the RCMP and, being the only granddaughter my grandfather was with the RCMP and, being the only granddaughter, I don't think this was something he ever thought would cross my mind, but I ended up applying to the Calgary Police Service, and within two months, everything went through, so I knew the door had been opened.
Speaker 2:During that time, though, I ended up getting diagnosed with cervical cancer and um at 26 years of age. That was not common back then, and especially being a Christian and stuff we had kind of learned about what cervical cancer was. That just wasn't me and so I kind of had a lot of shame that I was. You know, I think I put a lot of shame on myself, but in the Christian community it really felt like I didn't really know where to go from there. Yet I knew I was so close to getting into the police service. So I went through treatment and continued on in the process and ended up finishing treatment and getting into the police and starting classes. And when I look back now that was a little crazy. But I was younger, I had a lot more, I think, resilience at that time and I didn't want to give up. I had come so far and I think for myself I wanted to prove to myself that I could actually do this. So just getting into the service now so we call it the Calgary Police Service. A lot of people still use the force. I might kind of use force intertwining, but it is the Calgary Police Service, so just to kind of put that out there.
Speaker 2:But once I got onto the service, just kind of seeing what it actually took and was I really prepared for this I'm a real girly girl.
Speaker 2:I've got usually pink nails, hair and makeup done.
Speaker 2:I love fashion, love clothing, and here I am in a blue polyester uniform and you know like really not a girly girl type of profession, but I wasn't going to change who I was, so I never really fit into this box of being a cop, because when I got out of uniform nobody knew what I did, which was actually kind of cool, uh.
Speaker 2:So that kind of you know led the path of the last uh, 21 years and I was able to do so much and I loved what I did in my career of doing that and I guess, kind of going into one of the other pivots that kind of changed the direction of where God started taking me was in my, I guess, my 20th year I ended up dealing with bullying and harassment and I have never had to deal with that in all of my 20 plus years in the service.
Speaker 2:And when that hit I think it was a point when God really stopped me and started me looking at, you know, being aware of how my body was feeling, what I was actually going through and what would be and could be the outcome of this and was it really worth it for me mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally. Where was that going to take me, and at that time I also ended up getting diagnosed with PTSD. And again, I think this was kind of one of those God moments of him stepping in, really stepping in and saying it's time to really take a hard look at what this is everything you've done where you are now, and I've got something way better and way more impactful that I want you to do.
Speaker 1:When you talked about the diagnosis of cervical cancer, you mentioned shame. How did that come? What is explain that? So your church family?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it was. So back then, um and I'm saying back then cause it was uh, yeah, it was a long time ago, um, when cervical cancer was not something that was really talked about and the the people I'm going to say that that ended up getting it or it was being more found in were people that were very sexually active and that kind of thing, and that wasn't somebody who I was. So for people that didn't know me, you know people ask what kind of cancer? And you say it and you get that look. Not only you know you have the big C on your forehead. There was that look and those that knew me through the church family, that was fine and dandy. But then you have those other people in the church family who they ask what can we pray for? And you know your family lets them know this is you know what you can pray for.
Speaker 2:People always ask what kind of cancer. You say it, and then there would be this look and then there would be this look. And you know it was hard at those times and I think one of the things too is I just wanted people to have grace and mercy and love and just accept me, and especially during that time, even just to call and say you know what can I do for you? Can I pray for you? Can I bring you a coffee? Can I? You know what can I do for you? Can I pray for you? Can I bring you a coffee? Can I? You know anything of that sort? People didn't know what to do, yeah yeah, um, you didn't.
Speaker 1:So, um, you know, listening to your story I am I'm thinking your career, as in the Calgary police city police ended sort of after sort of after a PTSD diagnosis. Would that be right? That's correct, would you say, because you didn't say that was a huge, pivotal moment, because I mean, you've written a book now You've done some amazing things, right, would you see that you didn't mention it, but maybe the story continues on and the rest of the questions I'm going to ask you, but that seems pretty pivotal, like you are on a transition of your life that is fantastic.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I think what I looked at, I think the pivotal for me was, all of a sudden, this bullying and harassment that was happening, where it kind of stopped to make me look, and then the diagnosis came and I think it was literally like the pressure cooker was going, going and then it was gone. And I'm one of those who I would be continuously going for maintenance to see a psychologist, a counselor, because, especially with the job that we do, you need to do that. It's very important to make sure you are doing okay. And as a mom and, you know, a wife and all of these things, I wanted to make sure I was okay. I had a lot of other people that I had to make sure I was okay for, not only me. So when the diagnosis came, my psychologist said I looked like a deer in the headlights because I was shocked. I thought I had my stuff together and that I was doing okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we think that, don't we?
Speaker 2:I know we do Everything's good.
Speaker 1:Yes, we're all good. I'm wondering if you can give us your best principle of success and tell us a story that may illustrate that.
Speaker 2:Okay, best principle of success. I think the best thing for me was just not giving up. You know, going through some of the tough times and, especially as a Christian, you know what did that look like. And yeah, you know, when I was going through these questions, this was one of those that I'm like, okay, the best principle for success. I, there wasn't one specific timing, but when I look at all through what had gone on, I think it was just not giving up and knowing that I mean I've got a very strong faith and belief and, um, knowing that even when I was ready to give in and it doesn't mean giving up, it was just I was tired and I was exhausted and there was so much going on I knew that I had somebody that would continue taking me forward and I knew that God, being in control, would continue me forward no matter what. And I think for me that was.
Speaker 2:For me, that's what success looks for. I don't, you know, I think we have, especially nowadays, you look, it's like well, success with money or your title or anything of that sort. But yet when I look, especially within the police service, yeah, I could have made it and gone sergeant and staff sergeant and all these other rankings, but that's not what I wanted to do. I felt that, especially as a leader, I could have so much more impact in so many other ways, and so for me, that's I think that's for me what the success was. It was just keeping on going.
Speaker 1:Yeah, isn't that interesting on the whole leadership, on what we think it takes to be successful to. You know, got to be a staff sergeant, I have to be the you know next to be the captain or I apologize, I don't know the ranks, but yeah, that that ladder when really it's take what you have learned. Those years were important to the next transition of your life. And when you say never give up and I look at your bio that I read you think of the youth and what do we tell them? Like, never give up. Look at me, you know. And we have to share our story. So thank you for sharing that story and never giving up. And I think sometimes we're looking for those really hard answers of oh, what's my best principle of success? Actually, it's true, I know we're always looking for really big words.
Speaker 2:I know my life is so boring if I really sit back and think, but we forget about all the other things that we've actually gone through.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah Well, thank you for sharing. We talk a lot about failures and mistakes here, and we know we learn more from our failures and mistakes than our own successes, and I'm wondering if you can share one of your greatest failures or mistakes and maybe what you learned from it.
Speaker 2:Now this was interesting because, um, I so I sing as well and I I have been very musical all through my life.
Speaker 2:I've had some amazing opportunities um, traveling, recording, singing, backup, all that kind of stuff, and so when I actually sit back and look at all of this, I think my biggest I don't know if it was a failure because I don't believe I don't really want to call them failures, but I think that I did not do was continue pursuing my music career.
Speaker 2:I had some great opportunities in Nashville early on, when I was 19, 20. And things happen, things change, life goes on in different ways, and so you know, there are still days that I sit back and go. You know what, if and where would I be and what would be going on, and you know, when I look at everything God actually used if you want to say that failure or mistake in a completely different way, because being on the police service, I ended up being able to sing at all the graduations and the galas and the conferences. So for 16, 17 years I was still able to use my gifts that he had given me and you know people were still impacted how he was going to use that, and so I actually never had to stop doing what I loved and what my passion was.
Speaker 1:So do you think you will ever? Because? Are you still singing? Maybe that's my first question, Are you still?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm still singing and I've been singing. Funny enough, the Calgary Hitmen, the WHL hockey team, this year is going to be 30 years. I've been doing the anthem for them, so it's yeah, so I'm still. I'm still singing around, still singing on church, praise and worship um different functions, all that kind of stuff yeah, oh, you still have the gift.
Speaker 1:Ah, nashville, nashville, for sure, probably, nashville is always there, just saying it's always there. Yes, yes, all right. Well, at Leader Impact, we want to grow personally, professionally and spiritually for increasing impact, and I'm wondering if you'd be willing to share an example of how the spiritual makes a practical difference in your life as a leader.
Speaker 2:This one.
Speaker 2:You know, I believe, whether you're a leader or not, I believe this has a huge impact of leader impact and you know the different books that we've been going through and the different leader leadership books that that we've had an opportunity to read and go through, it has really opened up my eyes to to actually how that spiritualness has impacted me in so many different ways.
Speaker 2:And I guess, as a leader, god has opened my eyes in ways of not only with treating people and how, as a Christian and as somebody who wants to live with identity in Christ, should be working as a leader. What that looks like and I believe that that is how my impact can be and has been. Even helping and working with other leaders will go and you start brainstorming stuff and bringing stuff up that as a leader, but as a Christian, what does that look like? And how can we bring Christ into our workplaces, into, you know, even our everyday conversations or coffees? So you know, I think, yeah, as a leader, there's huge. There's a huge impact we can have, but I believe, just even every day, how we can have that spiritual impact just in general overall.
Speaker 1:I don't know if that fully answered it, but Well, I'm going to extend that and ask you about your experience with Leader Impact, your group. Many people who are listening have never been part of a Leader Impact group and we do invite them. I mean we want business leaders to join. So maybe I don't know if you remember. I mean sometimes I forget which books we do because we do so many but talk about because they're leadership books. They are some of the best selling leadership books. We just bring a spiritual component. So I don't know if you remember any of that you have done one of them, and was it John Maxwell, I believe that one was, and then trust was another one, and I think that was Tim.
Speaker 2:Maybe Tim, maybe not, I can't remember that one, but it was just trust and those two for me, had some of the biggest impacts of where, as leaders like especially with leadership and how you know you begin at a certain place and where you think that once you emerge as a leader, this is where you should be going and how you should be acting and all of that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:And then when you actually get down to the nitty gritty and looking at it as how God would want me to be the leader, and look at things, it really shifts. It's not about you know, like we were talking about success and how much money you have and where you are in the company or your title. It's going down to how can I take my group of people and make them into you know, taking them and making them into leaders, and surrounding myself with people that have the same visions and the same goals, and walking beside them instead of in front of them. And I think as leaders, we forget that, and so these books kind of taught, brought us back into kind of the square one of learning number one how to trust and what that trust looks like, and then going into what that leadership looks like and how to build that leadership.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and for me and I'm in two groups that I lead and it's sharing it with other leaders, because you don't we don't sometimes have someone to share our leadership journey with. If you're a president, you're probably not talking to just all the people that are underneath you. You need another president or a senior. Whatever role you're in, it is nice to share and hear others' thoughts on leadership and their failures, their mistakes, their greatest moments, you know. So thank you for sharing your involvement. I love Leader Impact, so I'm glad you're involved. So Leader Impact is dedicated to leaders having a lasting impact. That's what we talk about. As you continue to move through your own journey, have you considered what you want your faith legacy to be when you leave this world?
Speaker 2:Yes, and you know, the biggest thing for me it's focusing on creating an impact where youth parents, educators, mentors can learn to engage and have those conversations, open dialogue, the courage in discussing difficult topics, the sense of community, the sense of family and, you know, the stronger relationships that are built and just how, with God showing God throughout all of this and it's going to look different for everybody, but I really feel strongly that this is just something for me, that that I want people to remember me by is, you know, and with this book coming out, that was kind of my, my backing with this book, because I worked in the high schools as a school resource officer for eight and a half years and what I experienced with these youth and the cries for help and just how sitting down and having a conversation with them meant the world.
Speaker 2:Or, you know, with our own kids, you know sitting with them and you know, if you're not a gamer and your 10 or 12 year old plays games, go down for 20 minutes, ask them to show you how to play a game. You know you may hate it and be rolling your eyes the entire time inside, but that time spent with them, oh my goodness, you have just created a relationship there that is stronger than if you would have you know, sat in a car and said how's school? Fine, what are you doing? Nothing, you know. So something as small as that, and those are kind of the things that I would love people to remember.
Speaker 1:Mm, hmm, so definitely, a book is a lasting impact. Well done. Uh, you know it'll be out there. I probably, when this podcast launches, the book will have launched. Uh, would you say. Uh, this book is for every parent. Would you say, this book, you know? Where would you put this book? Who would you dedicate this book to or direct it to?
Speaker 2:So this book is for parents, for mentors, for guardians I was saying caregivers of youth. Somebody said it kind of sounds like you're like caregivers is for old people, but grandparents, it's for anybody who has a youth in their life or has some kind of connection with youth, because it is their stories. It is their stories walking through suicide, walking through self-harm, through eating disorders, domestic abuse. Especially you know at 14 and 15 years old what is a healthy relationship, right, and so all of this stuff. Our kids are going through this in school. Many parents and families do not realize this is what is actually happening until it's too late. So this book is for all of that kind of that community, but it's also for the youth themselves, because they can read this and realize they're not alone. They can realize that maybe they can help a friend or somebody has come forward to them regarding this and it just allows you know that shame Cause even as parents there's some shame that goes on, especially you know you're from.
Speaker 2:We go to church every Sunday, everything's perfect, this is our wonderful life, and then all of a sudden you know your kid attempts suicide, or your kid has a drug problem, or they get pregnant. Oh my gosh Like the shame that comes on to us, just as parents. It's astronomical, but why does it have to be that? Why can't we learn to have those conversations and actually sit and talk with our youth? The one thing I really found is we make assumptions, as parents, about our youth and our youth make assumptions about us and instead of stopping and saying together you know what I battled bullying as a mom when I was younger. I battled bullying just like you're battling. It's not the same, I know, but I understand what you're going through and let's talk about it and see how we can kind of help each other through this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we don't talk enough as leaders, as adults, as women, as parents, you know, and the conversations need to start. So thank you for putting out a book for parents, for caregivers of youth, grandparents, mentors. You know it's an important subject.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Well done yeah.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 1:Our last question is what brings you the greatest joy?
Speaker 2:Oh, this was an interesting one to think of. You know, the biggest thing right now? So I have a 15 and a half year old son. Actually, he would tell me he's almost 16, because November he'll be 16.
Speaker 2:But one of the main things is watching him grow in his journey with Christ. And I, you know what I know I can always do better with praying with him and spending time and all that kind of stuff, but he reads his Bible on his own, he does devotions, he prays, he goes to his youth group and you know he doesn't complain about going to church. Um, just watching him grow in, that is just like it brings tears to my eyes because I couldn't have asked for anything more. With that and knowing, you know, that that, the relationship that we have, the dialogue that we have, it's so special.
Speaker 2:And, um, you know I'm not the best parent, the greatest parent at all. I have messed up and you know, not been there for things. But all that I've asked, you know, for God is to show me where I can be better, especially with him, and just watching him grow and be able to be that support for him. And then one of the other things that brings me joy is with youth, Just when you know all of a sudden that somebody has heard them and somebody understands them and you see their faces. All of a sudden it's like you know what you get me, I feel safe, I can actually talk to you, and that is such a huge feeling of joy as well for me.
Speaker 1:So I, I have two children as well and they're out of the house. Now I'm an empty nester. They've moved out and our children were raised in a Christian home and at one point we let them go, we let them go into that world and now they're living two and a half hours away and we, you know, like you said, like I'm doing my best, I did my best while they weren't home and I just hope you know and I got this little feedback my daughter and she listens to the podcast and she does a devotional with her cousin who lives in another city and they check in with each other. Two young women, amazing women, and they check in with each other. I'm like, okay, I did, okay check mark, but as parents, it is hard, and so to surround yourself with great people and then to your children, who are in youth groups and, you know, surrounded with great kids, that's, that's all we can do, you know.
Speaker 2:It is Well, and I think one of the things, too, is that all we can, all we can ask and pray for as well, is that when our kids are kind of gone, or, you know, starting to do their own thing, that they'll hear that little voice. You know when that little voice is needed, that I remember when mom said this, or you know what I really? I need some help. Right now I'm just going to send mom a text, or dad a text, or, you know, grandma text or whatever it is, but I think that is when we realize that we did have an impact. And you know, it may be tomorrow and maybe 10 years down the road, but you'll know, yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh, arla Mae, it has been a fabulous 30 minutes with you. Thanks for sharing. It has been a wonderful introduction. I think it was. Was it TB Rebe that introduced us? Yes, yep, yes, he's done a couple introductions to me, so big thanks to TB if he's listening. But thank you for sharing your time with us and your story it it will change someone's life and your book will change more. So, thank you awesome. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Uh, if anyone wants to engage with you, if they're like, oh, I want to, I want to look, carla maya, what is the best way to find you and then hook up.
Speaker 2:You know, if they want to so I'm on linkedin and also also they can go to wwwcarlamaysherematacom.
Speaker 1:That's easy, all right, well, thank you again for joining us. All right, well, if you're part of Leader Impact, you can always discuss or share this podcast with your group. And if you are not yet part of Leader Impact and would like to find out more and grow your leadership, find our podcast page on our website at leaderimpactca and check out our free leadership assessment. You will also find on our webpage chapter one of Braden Douglas's book Becoming a Leader of Impact. You can also check out groups available in Canada at leaderimpactca or, if you're listening from anywhere else in the world, check out leaderimpactcom or get in touch with us by email info at leaderimpactca and we will connect you. And if you like this podcast, please leave us a comment, give us a rating or review. This will help other global leaders find our podcast. Thank you for engaging with us and remember impact starts with us.
Speaker 2:And remember impact starts with you.
