LeaderImpact Podcast
LeaderImpact Podcast
Ep. 67 - Jared LaCoste - Lessons from the Sports Field
Jared Lacoste, a dedicated missionary and chaplain from Regina, Saskatchewan, takes us on his remarkable path from a youth filled with sports to the unexpected calling of chaplaincy. Growing up in a sports-focused household, Jared's life took a pivotal turn through his experiences at Briarcrest College and a life-changing coffee meeting with a Saskatchewan Roughriders player. This episode unravels how Jared discovered the power of genuine relationships with athletes often disconnected from traditional faith venues, illustrating his commitment to offering support beyond the confines of church walls.
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Welcome to the Leader Impact Podcast. We are a community of leaders with a network in over 350 cities around the world dedicated to optimizing our personal, professional and spiritual lives to have impact. This show is where we have a chance to listen and engage with leaders who are living this out. We love talking with leaders, so if you have any questions, comments or suggestions to make the show even better, please let us know. The best way to stay connected in Canada is through our newsletter at leaderimpactca or on social at Leader Impact. If you're listening from outside of Canada, check out our website at leaderimpactcom.
Speaker 2:I'm your host, lisa Peters, and our guest today is Jared Lacoste. Jared is a missionary local to Regina, saskatchewan. He serves with Athletes in Action and is entering his ninth year as chaplain with the Saskatchewan Rough Riders and his third season with the Regina Pats. Jared has a passion to help athletes engage with their faith while pursuing their respective sports at the highest level. Athletes engage with their faith while pursuing their respective sports at the highest level. Growing up in Estevan, saskatchewan, jared and his wife Courtney have since made Regina home in 2011, along with their three children, brody, boston and Owen. Welcome to the show, jared. Thank you very much for having me. Lisa. Oh, you're welcome. So your children, brody, boston and Owen, were they named after any athletes? Just ask.
Speaker 1:No, they weren't, but I am a Boston Bruin fan at heart, so there may be a connection there with my one son.
Speaker 2:You got one out of the three Good. Well, it is very nice to finally meet you in person. Well, actually, just you know online, but thanks for joining us today. It is, it is great to meet you in person. Well, actually, just you know online, but thanks for joining us today. It is, it is great to meet you.
Speaker 1:I appreciate that.
Speaker 2:So we usually start off the podcast. We want to hear more about you and sort of how you got to where you are today, and mostly we want to hear about those pivotal moments that were, you know, along your journey. Pivotal moments happen, so we'd love to hear more.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I guess to start off I'd probably say that this was never something I was looking for, that's not something growing up that I even thought was a possibility or you know something to pursue. But I grew up in a very typical southern Saskatchewan household where I think sport was kind of at the forefront of my life and my brother and my sister's lives, and so our family was either found at the rink or at the gym or somewhere doing some sort of sport, and so sport has always kind of been the undercurrent of our family. In my own life and I think, like any young athlete, your, your goal is to pursue it until you can anymore, and so I was no different in that regard and actually had the chance to to go, and I did my studying at Briarcrest College out in Cairnport. I had the chance to play hockey there for four years as well, and so sport was kind of the, the pursuit for the most part, and never really thought that this area of chaplaincy one was even a career choice or a path that I could take or one that I foresee myself eventually stepping up into, and along the way it just kind of, I think for me, fell into my lap in some regards. When my wife and I moved to Regina, I was working in a group home with developmentally challenged young adults and I loved it. I thought this was the direction for me, and for me there was just this reality of like. Meeting the basic needs of people is something that I've always really gravitated towards, and so to have an opportunity to be a part of people's lives, where you know they, they need you and they need your support in order to just do day-to-day things was, uh was something that I ended up doing for five or six years and it was something that I thought I could really do for a long time.
Speaker 1:And in the process of that, um, yeah, the chaplain who was with the team with the riders at the time was a family friend of ours and he just reached out and said hey, I've got this one player. Have not been able to make any relationship or connection with him. Uh, he just got married, you just got married. You're both kind of in that same stage of life. Would you take them all for coffee? And I always joke that that's the easiest way for me to say yes to something is to attach coffee to it and so we just started building relationship and friendship and it wasn't necessarily for me like doing ministry or do it like it was mutually beneficial, I think for myself, just moving to Regina and not having a ton of relationships of my own, having the chance to just build relationship was for me kind of the the end goal, and that's what it was. His name was Kerry. We became really close friends and and that's that's how I saw it was just a friendship.
Speaker 1:And the following year he moved on. Like in most CFLs people don't stay very long. They're kind of in and out and gone to the next team or done. And so he moved on and he phoned me one day and he said Jared, I think you need to do this. And I was like do what? And he's like I think you need to pursue this.
Speaker 1:And at that point, like I said, I still didn't think it was something that could be pursued because I didn't feel like I was doing anything other than just building friendship and relationship with someone. And he said I have a number of teammates who will likely never darken the doors of a chapel or a Bible study or go to church, but a lot of them have said who was that guy that poured into your life Because we want someone who just sees us for who we are. And that was kind of the pivotal moment for me where I realized that a lot of these men and the positions that they're in their relationships they never really know, you know, is it mutual? Is it, you know, is there strings attached? Is there something you know that kind of gets in the way, Because oftentimes it comes with can I have this or I want that, and so for them to go. I just want something or someone who cares about me, and nothing else. And so that's kind of how it started.
Speaker 1:For me was just one pivotal relationship that then said I think you need to do this, and that was in 2013. And so got involved a little bit more, mostly away from the stadium. It'll sound like a broken record, I'm sure, this afternoon, but relationship for me is paramount, Like that's what I pursue. There's a lot of things in my job that I get to do that I love, but building that relationship and that connection with people is really at the heart of everything.
Speaker 2:You know, I love everything you're saying and, and I think of, my question would be these, these athletes, they're on the team and they obviously you did something, for Carrie Carrie talks about it and they're like I just I want that. So, these athletes, they're on the team and they obviously you did something, for carrie carrie talks about it and they're like I just I want that. So these athletes that are now you know you meet with and I know with athletes in action, um, I mean before every game, or is it before and after every game that you, you know you meet? What would be? Um, just, if you could describe the players in, in their leadership or their, would you say they're any different? Would you say they've changed since meeting with you?
Speaker 1:You know, they're just still great guys and I don't know realized is that there's just a tremendous amount of pressure that comes with being an athlete, but also being an athlete that is, at the professional level and and their their livelihood, and this is their job, and there's a certain level of I mean, in any sport there's expectations put on each one of these guys to to perform and to succeed, and and I always say like I'm probably one of the only people in the building that the relationship doesn't really change if the outcome of the game is, you know, great or bad, like regardless of whether they had their best game or their worst game, like I have the luxury of not caring about that, because I know, at the end of the day, like my about that, because I know, at the end of the day, like my who I am and who I see them as isn't going to be dictated on a performance which very few people in this industry and in this job have have the ability to actually just maintain that level of relationship where, where it doesn't really the factor of what happens at the end of the game doesn't really matter.
Speaker 1:And so I've seen a lot of guys really let their guard down around me just because they feel like it's a safe space, but also they feel like they can be themselves around me without their, you know, being that extra set of eyes.
Speaker 1:As to, like, you know, how does this, how does this impact this?
Speaker 1:Or how does, like you know, for me it's kind of just at face value and like, for me, like I said, like we meet regularly and we have scheduled times that players are welcome to come to, and but for me it's those moments of hey, jared, can, can we chat?
Speaker 1:Or like, hey, I got a question, or I've been thinking about this, and a lot of it's impromptu, and those are the times where I feel like God is really moving, because it's usually on the sidelines or it's at the most inopportune time where you can't really answer it the way you want to because they have to run back out onto the field or whatnot. But it's just neat to see that, like, a lot of these guys are thinking about these things and they're, you know, they're questioning things in their own life, and to be able to kind of be alongside that for them as a sounding board, but also as someone who, you know, has a bit of understanding in the area that they're asking, to be able to give them resources and and direct them to, to where they need to go, in order to maybe have some of these questions answered, whether it's through myself or through someone else.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, can you imagine if all offices had you? I mean, it's leader impact and we meet there. Man, everybody had a Jared, oh no that's.
Speaker 1:Sometimes I think I'm like, oh, that's you know, but that I think there are people in every situation that could be that and I don't think it needs to be that designated title. And so I get people all the time who are like oh, you need to come and tell so and so about this, and I'm like that's not my job, that's. You know, god actually placed you there in order for you to be that in this. But and so, oh, people always be like, oh, you need to. I'll just let you tell them and I go no, I have, I've got an area of my own that, you know, god has entrusted me with. But I do think that having people in those roles, whether it's officially or unofficially, people want to know that people care, and I think that sometimes life can get moving so quickly or it can be so focused in one thing that you lose the opportunity to have the engagement in that other area as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, Jared, that's a great answer. I did. I sort of convoluted a question there and then I asked another question. But what I, what I don't know, and my acquiring mind wants to know. I know that at the end of a game you meet in the midfield and you, you know, you pray, you thank God for the game. Yeah, Do you guys? Do you meet with them prior to the game?
Speaker 1:for the game? Yeah, do you guys? Do you meet with them prior to the game? Yeah so, yeah. So we actually I can just run through so midweek, so midweek we would have a bible study in the facility for players who want to come, and so everything that we do is voluntary. But we have a lot of guys who, you know, faith is a big part of their life, and so we have a scheduled meeting time during the week and then on game day, usually three different elements.
Speaker 1:So one thing that's unique to our organization is that, say, this weekend, a team comes into town, their chaplain doesn't travel with them, so I would also be responsible for doing a pregame chapel service for the away team at their hotel. So that's kind of how our game day would start. And then I get to the field or get to the stadium and usually have one or two guys that I meet with one on one on game day, because their athletes have a very condensed schedule and some of them are very specific about when things need to be done and how they need to be done, and so I would meet one-on-one with a handful of players, kind of on their side, on their terms and on their timeline and then two hours before kickoff, we would do our, our Rough Rider Chapel, in the facility and, like I said, we we get a number of players who that's kind of that last moment of like okay, like take a breath, you know, have that moment for themselves and for them as a group, and then the flip is kind of switched or switches kind of flipped, and then we we end up going kind of into that mode of like preparation and everything else, into that mode of like preparation and everything else. And then, right before we go out on the field, before the guys run out on the tunnel, we'd actually just gather together and pray and then post game, same thing. We would meet collectively with both teams at center field after the game and and pray together, which is unique to football.
Speaker 1:There's not very many sports out there where there's that, that public display of faith still happening. Yeah, and so, yeah, to me there's. There's a number of different things and different guys engage in different things.
Speaker 2:And I think the amazing thing is that people don't realize that this is the Canadian football league and this happens in the national football league. And I wonder if people see it happening but they actually don't know what it is, that this is the Canadian Football League and this happens in the National Football League.
Speaker 1:And I wonder if people see it happening but they actually don't know what it is, and many times you know it's Athletes in Action. It's you know, would you say that's right, yeah, so in Canada, like Athletes in Action has a chaplain on every CFL team that is under our organization's leadership, and so for us it's unique to one organization. In the States they have a number of different sports missions groups that would kind of take care of those things, or local pastors, but in Canada we are all under the same umbrella of Athletes in Action, and so that's somewhat unique to us is that every one of us is a co-worker in the roles that we're doing on the respective teams that we're with.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all right. Well, that was an excellent explanation of what you do and I'm excited that you shared I needed to know. Our next question is about your best principle of success, if you have one and if you can tell us a story that may illustrate it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was thinking about this because I'm fortunate to surround myself with high level leaders kind of in every, every walk, like whether it's here, I mean with the players or the coaches, or you know, I'm surrounded by, I think, good leaders all the time, and so somewhat for me, I'm like, oh, like what can I pick from him? And you know, what can I pick from? You know, I have a luxury of people around me who I think are very effective in that area and I think for me, what, what it comes down to maybe, if I pinpoint one, would be like ownership. Like I feel like when people get to a point where they themselves feel like they have some piece of ownership, whether it's in a project or a team or you know something that they're working on people do more if they feel like they have a role and a responsibility that is crucial to the outcome of whatever it is.
Speaker 1:And so sometimes I think for myself in some of the areas, whether it's project based in chapel or Bible study, like I don't like to be the guy that talks all the time, like I just kind of want to sit back and just kind of observe and just really take in and listen to what some of these guys are saying, and it's funny because early on you'll get the guys who kind of are always like side eye, like is Jared going to say something? You know, is he going to step in? Because they want to concede to myself for the answer. But part of their growth and part of my ability to help them grow is just to let them sit in that and go. Well, I actually have something I can offer here and I have the space and the freedom and, you know, feel like I can.
Speaker 1:And so if I'm always worried about, like, what I have to say or what I have to do, you know it takes away from other people feeling like they can own a piece of what we're doing. And so it's usually those moments for me. Like a couple of weeks ago we had a player who, just like I said honestly, I could have left in Bible study, would have just ran as it did, which is great Cause I think ideally, at the end of the day, I don't want it to be about me, and and so for these guys to feel like they have some ownership in the room where they can bring topics up, topics up, or they can, you know, bring their concerns or whatever it is that they're reading or listening to and go hey what do you think about this?
Speaker 1:And and they kind of drive the conversation and I just kind of put the parameters up and try and keep it kind of within the lines.
Speaker 1:And you know, if I feel like I need to step in or share something, then I will.
Speaker 1:But for me, I look at that and I go like you get more out of it when more people feel like they're a part of it.
Speaker 1:And so there's this empowerment where they go oh, like you know, my voice does matter, or my opinion does matter, and for me to be able to afford space and what I'm doing for those people to kind of get to that point is usually for me a key level of success and going like, okay, I'm doing my job, because it's not just me, and the more we have in that position or in that place where they feel like they have a voice, then then I feel like the outcome it takes care of itself in some regard, because I tend not to focus on the outcome, which is one thing I've learned from being involved in professional sports is that if you're always worried about the outcome, every weekend somebody's going to be disappointed because someone has to win and someone has to lose, and so to get beyond that and just go like what process needs to happen in order for us to be prepared for whatever outcome does you know inevitably show up, and so I would say ownership is a big key for me in identifying, you know, are things successful, whether it's in a project or some of the things that I'm doing on a day to day.
Speaker 2:Oh, Jared, that's. A great answer. Thank you for sharing. In this podcast we talk a lot. Well, we do talk about our failures and mistakes, because I think we all know we probably learn more from those than our own successes. So I'm wondering if you would be willing to share a failure or a mistake and what you learned from it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this I mean. In some regards I feel like I've been fairly fortunate because, as I said before, I've been surrounded by really good leaders, which has kind of created a bit of a buffer for me in the journey of becoming a leader, created a bit of a buffer for me in the journey of becoming a leader where, thankfully, I haven't had to make some of the mistakes that maybe I would have had I not had people kind of steering and guiding me. But I do remember one situation. It was kind of that first big decision that I had to make as a leader and I was really strong in my conviction about the decision that needed to be made and so I just made it and afterwards I still, to this day, stand by it and I think it was the right choice. But what I realized was that it kind of comes back to my previous answer that some of the people that were impacted by that decision didn't feel like they had any voice or, you know, any position to say anything when it came to me, kind of just saying like this is the decision that needed to be made and I'm making it, and realized after that like I I didn't really lend myself to hear from anyone else because of how maybe stubborn or strong I was in my conviction as to what decision had to happen.
Speaker 1:And it was that moment for me that I realized that leadership isn't necessarily about hey, this is how I lead. Everyone else needs to kind of fall underneath that. I come to this understanding fairly quickly that different people need different things from their leaders, and so a friend of ours he always says, like you need to be treated fairly, not equally, because sometimes you know, if we're treating everyone equally, someone's not actually being respected in that process. And so I've kind of realized, like, oh, this person in this situation, he didn't need to necessarily have a say in the outcome, but he just wanted to be heard and he wanted to feel like he was a part of the discussion before the decision was made and other people go Jared, I just make the decision, I'll kind of deal with you know. And so instead of me going, hey, this is what I need you guys to do, it was more of this moment of like, how do I bring people in in an effort of collaboration and hearing them and seeing them, and they feel that they're valued, even though I might not make the decision? You know that they wanted me to make. At least they feel like there is a respect there, that they were asked or that they were given an opportunity to share.
Speaker 1:And it's really started to form my, my leadership now, because my one son is he was diagnosed on the autism spectrum, and so I now look at it through this lens and I go I would never treat my son the same way as I treat my other two kids, because he has very specific and different needs from me than the other ones.
Speaker 1:And so if I just parented all three of my kids the exact same way, then one of or all of those kids are not actually being treated with like the dignity and the respect that they deserve, because I'm just trying to do everything the same.
Speaker 1:And so I learned that through my own family dynamic. But then bringing it back into the business or workplace where I go, oh, I actually can't treat you the same because you have different needs and you have different desires or different wants, you know, and as a leader, I need to be able to pull those things out of you or empower you to use them, without feeling like, as the leader, you're kind of you're taking the power away from them by just saying this is what's happening and this is what's going on, and it doesn't matter what you have to say. And so I don't feel like I was that authoritative leader, but I just there was some changes that I thought needed to be made and I made them. And then backtracking I go oh, I have to work with these people still and they have a little less respect for me because I didn't show them the respect before jumping into that.
Speaker 1:So that was a tough one for me. I learned a lot from it. One of the dynamics that I'm always kind of working through is I'm the young leader. I guess is kind of the not a moniker that was put on me, but a lot of the people that I work around and work with are older than me, and so there's constantly that you know, how do you prove yourself, or how do you? You know, how do you, how do you prove yourself, or how do you? You know, how do you lead from a place of respect when you know maybe you're seen less as a peer and more as you know someone younger?
Speaker 1:And so there's always those things for me that I've had to work through right from the start of going. How do I lead people that are older than me? Or how do I lead people who have been in this organization longer than me, or how do I lead people who have been in this organization longer than me? And so for me, like I said, it was one of those moments where I can think back to specifically and go oh, had I went back and done it again, you know I probably would have done it different. I think the outcome would have stayed the same, but the process in which I got to that outcome would look very different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I appreciate the integration of the professional life and the personal life. You know how you, you, you brought the story home and you took it to work. It all applies. People want to be heard, People want to share um at leader impact. Of course we want to grow personally, professionally and spiritually, and uh, for increasing impact. So I, so we do. I love that story. Would you be willing to share an example of how you, how the spiritual, makes a practical difference in your life as a leader?
Speaker 1:Well, I, I suppose I'm fortunate because, you know, leading people in the faith community or in the faith world is is my main responsibility and so, um, but how it impacts me personally is, uh, I think early on I I was like that I'm just thinking, like my kids we used to have those plates that had like the dividers everywhere, so like none of their food touched, and and when I first started, I I approached my life that way, like I was like, hey, I've got my personal life over here and I've got my professional life over here, and you know, I've got everything else kind of, and I didn't allow any of it to bleed over. It was very, you know, compartmentalized and like this is, you know, this is who I am here and this is who I am here and and that's how I approach things for a long time, because I was like, no, I need to protect my time with my family and I need to protect my time with my wife, and you know, when I'm at work.
Speaker 1:I want to be at work and I want to be fully present there, and so I convinced myself that that was the appropriate way to go. Uh, and then for myself, I'm like, oh, my own spiritual life is important. So then I kind of had this little like this is just just for me. And a couple of years ago I just kind of got to a point where I was like, man, like this is hard, like trying to just kind of keep all this separate or keep this kind of going is not working. And this idea of, like, work-life balance is not something I necessarily think is attainable. It's not something I necessarily think is attainable, because I came to the conclusion that every day, I had to sacrifice something in one of those areas in order to do something else. And I was like, oh, like, if I'm here doing this, then I'm not at home with my family, or if I'm focusing fully on me, then I don't have the capacity to focus on anyone else. And it got really exhausting, trying to just go through life being like, oh, I could have been doing this or I could have been doing that, or if I'm doing this, then I'm not doing that. And I started to really look at my day and go like, what did I accomplish? And it wasn't until I really felt like God was like Jared, some of the greatest gifts that I've given you aren't being used because you're so worried about separation or keeping things apart.
Speaker 1:And then I came to the realization that one of the greatest gifts I have in ministry is for the people that I work with to actually see what a godly husband looks like or a godly father looks like. And so me, keeping my kids away from you know, this side of things was actually, you know, doing a disservice to them over here, because guys would be like, oh, jared, I don't understand what you mean by this, or I don't, and it's like oh, if you could only. I remember thinking like if you could only see me at home, you know, you would see some of these things kind of play out in the day-to-day, and then I was like I'm preventing them from seeing these things actually being lived out because I was so careful with, you know, protecting those areas and those spaces. And so one of the greatest gifts I have is the ability for my wife and my kids to be a part of what I'm doing and a lot of the athletes that I work with. It's really unfortunate, but I have a number of players who go.
Speaker 1:I never had a dad growing up or I didn't have a male role model in my life, and so when you're talking about all these things, I actually don't have a framework in which I can go to and actually see how that looks or what that feels like. And so I was like, oh, like I'm doing it over here and if you could only just see it. So I actually had to, you know, kind of erase those lines and go. This is who I am and these are all a part of it, and each one actually can serve the other if I, if I do it properly. And when I started to allow players kind of to see who I was kind of at the core of who I am, our relationships actually grew exponentially because they're like oh, george, just like me, you know he he has the same struggles that I have and you know he's he's got the same tensions that are happening in life to me, that he's in part of that as well, and so it almost humanized me a little bit and they were like, oh, I can just be real with him because he's being real with me and it took for me kind of pulling the curtain back, so to speak, of my life and going, hey guys, this is who I am and I'm not exempt from any of these things because I'm a spiritual leader or a chaplain allows me to try and handle some of these things a little bit differently or a little bit more healthy, because I'm not just doing it for myself, I'm trying to to become this leader in my own life and allowing people to be a part of that has been, has been neat, because, like I have a player he like showed up at my house one day and he's just like we invited him for supper and he didn't leave really young.
Speaker 1:Most of the guys kind of come in, come out and and the next day he goes jared, certainly that can't be what your life looks like. And I was like what do you mean? He's like it seems fake. And I was like, well, I don't. And for me I don't understand it, but I didn't grow up in, you know, some of these areas that these guys grew up in and when he goes, oh, I didn't have a dad, or you know, my mom and dad split up at an early age or whatever, and so like I don't know what it. So, when I'm having conversations with him about what a healthy marriage should look like, it's a foreign concept to him, because all he has seen is hurt and you know pain when it comes to relationships. And so it was at that moment where I realized, like my wife and my kids and how I am with them is actually one of the greatest resources that God has given me to show what God's love looks like, kind of lived out practically on a day to day.
Speaker 2:Jared, that's a great, great answer. I loved your analogy at the beginning with the plate and that you know we break it into three you know sections, because I think a lot of people we don't carry it over and and unfortunately talking about it at work isn't, is a no-go, you know, and not everybody who you know. If you work in a you know federal government office or private enterprise, you, you know, you can't talk about it. You've actually been told. So it is very difficult and I, you know. But, and I and I know that we interviewed Britt Dort. So you are with the Canadian football league and you're on the, on the I was going to say court, cause I know my sports, you're on the field, and Britt Dort's with TSN and you actually didn't know that she was a Christian until you saw our podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was actually. I watched it game day, I had some time on my hands, and two I think it was two episodes ago you had Dave Clawson on, who is, you know, someone that has mentored me in our, in my relationship, to kind of becoming a leader. He's one of those key guys for me that has really given me space but also really pushed me in that area, and so I just finished listening to his cause. I wanted to listen to it, and then the new one was uploaded and I was sitting in my office. I thought, like she's 200 yards away from me right now and I had no idea that you know, and so that bridging of it is is neat Cause.
Speaker 1:Now, like I said, just seeing her on the sidelines and understanding her story a little bit more and just knowing that, like faith, is cause a lot of times people just think, oh, you're here for the players.
Speaker 1:Like Jared, your job is just to, you know, be there for the players.
Speaker 1:But I don't limit myself to that Like, if I have the ability to build relationship with someone and encourage them in their faith, whether it's you know somebody you know that's on the ref and crew, or somebody who's you know with TSN or it's the ball boy, like if the security guard, like I have relationships with a number of these people because I just actually have the time to stop and, you know, ask a simple question as to like, how is your day going? The person sitting in the elevator all week, like you know it's just like they just sit there and they do their job and you know there's not a lot of connection. And so to take that moment and actually, like I said, bring that dignity piece in or kind of that community piece in and going, like if I can make somebody's you know day by just stopping and and connecting and asking, you know I feel like that's within my role and it's not just subject to kind of the players that that are on this field or even the coaching staff as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, good, good, thank you. We're on to our final two questions. So at Leader Impact, we're dedicated to leaders having a lasting impact. So, as you continue to move through your own journey sounds fantastic. Have you considered what you want your faith legacy to be when you leave this world?
Speaker 1:Yes, I mean, the easy answer would be like I hope people don't see me Like I just think there's this idea of if, at the end of it, if all I gave was myself, then I probably, you know, missed the mark a little bit and so that's kind of like the instinct for me is to go to that point of like well, hopefully they experience something beyond just myself, and maybe that's me having the chance to describe why I am the way that I am, or the hope that I have because of Jesus or what Like. But I hope that people just go oh, like I like Jared, because it's like I'm like well, if I'm just giving out of myself or if I'm just giving from my own energy or effort, then then I haven't given a whole lot, and so that would be my first answer would be something to deflect away from myself.
Speaker 1:It's I've realized that I'm not the leader that needs to be at the front of the room or the leader that needs to necessarily be, you know, kind of at the forefront of everything and not the one that's, you know, as vocal as some other leaders are, and I think there's roles and responsibilities for all of those places. But I have found a lot of, you know, a lot of joy just being in the back and just kind of being in those quiet places. And so to me, I think and I was talking with my wife earlier today because I was kind of thinking through some of these questions, and she's usually a pretty good sounding board of what you know what life looks like, kind of even from her perspective, and I think I could sum it up in three words is he was there, and when I think about that it bleeds into every area of my life where I go. No, I want my kids to be like dad was there, like he was at the gym, he was at the rink, he was at my recital, he was there to pick me up from school, and I think that is obviously my priority is them. And so, coming back to a question a few ago, where this idea of like give it, like if you're waiting, you're giving up time somewhere.
Speaker 1:And as a leader, I've just come to terms with the fact that I'm not willing to sacrifice time at home for the sake of doing something else.
Speaker 1:And so my my boss, or Dave Claussen, he challenged me a number of years ago that ministry can't be done at the expense of family, and so I need to be true to them first, and I need to be there for them first, and then from there, like I said now, now you're dealing with even less time in your day, based on how much time you feel you need to commit at home, and, and so I got really good at saying no, because I wanted to make sure that I was protecting this area.
Speaker 1:And so, just for an example, our one non-negotiable is that five o'clock we're sitting at the table together for supper as a family. That's kind of like the main checkpoint of the day is all five of us we're at the table, and my wife's a shift worker, so it depends on her schedule, but when it allows it, like five o'clock, we're sitting down together as a family, and it's not. We're not rushing out the door, we're not grabbing something and going like we're intentional about spending that time together, because our lives are only getting busier as our kids get older and as they have more and more activities, and so we've kind of prioritized that five o'clock to six o'clock hour where we go, nothing's touching that Like that's, that's ours. You know, it's a non-negotiable, we're not going to compromise.
Speaker 1:So now that we have that parameter in place, it allows me to be a little bit more strategic with where I spend my time and what I do.
Speaker 1:But it does come back to like I don't want people to be like, oh, Jared didn't have time for me or he wasn't there. I think sometimes we convince ourselves that because we have so much connection through the palm of our hand now, with whatever device that we have, that we have a relationship with so many people, with whatever device that we have, that we have a relationship with so many people. But I don't think that any of that is a substitute for just showing up and being present and just being, you know, in relationship with someone shoulder to shoulder. And that being present part is interesting because recently there's been days where I I come to work and I sit in my office and the doors open and you know, if I wasn't there then there was no opportunity. And so at least being there provides people the opportunity to come or to show up or to ask or to be a part, like if I had to say like someone stood up at the end and was like oh.
Speaker 1:I could say a lot of things, but the main one is that Jared showed up like he was there.
Speaker 1:And because I think ministry and presence is important and the more people feel like you're there, the more trust is established. And once trust is established, then I do feel like some of those other key markers of like, oh like are you effective in your job or in your ministry? You know, how many people are you meeting with, praying with? How many people are you sharing the gospel with? Those things? Those come along with time, but those can't happen If you don't show up first.
Speaker 2:Sometimes we think of leaders, we think we need really big answers. You know, no, he was there, just show up. Just you know. And I loved your comment about not all leaders need to be at the front of the room. You know, sometimes we're at the back of the room and someone just turned around and you were there. You were just there, you just showed up. So great answer, jared, thank you. So our last question we love to ask is what brings you the greatest joy? You were just there, you just showed up. So great answer, jared, thank you.
Speaker 1:So our last question we love to ask is what brings you the greatest joy? Oh, I mean, first and foremost, it would be my kids. Like I just love like being a dad. It just there's so many lessons to be learned. And you know, I look at my kids and I watch them struggle through things. And then you know I watched them, you know come through and it's just like, oh like the other day I had a conversation with my youngest son.
Speaker 1:He's six years old and I was like, son, you need to be a leader. And he's just like I'm six, like how can I be a leader? And it was just I'm six, like how could I be a lead? And it was just like. And I was like, well, I think every one of us has the ability to be a leader. It's a matter of whether we're being a good one or a bad one. And and he's just kind of like his eyes kind of open up. And I was like, so were you leading people to, to listen to? Your like actually just see, pull in lessons and have this opportunity just to kind of see things play out with your own kids and and then, when you see them actually get it like that to me. I'm like, oh, it just brings me so much joy to see, like you know, the teaching that they're receiving or the the things that they're learning. I mean my daughter comes home and they're at the Christian school in Regina and she comes home with so much excitement, you know, about what she learned and she's like God, dad, did you know that Jesus did this? Or like she comes home with like this, like excitement about things that I read regularly and I'm like man, when was the last time I was that excited about like learning or reading or seeing you know what God does or has done? And so for them, like I, just like a proud dad, you know you sit back and you just kind of observe and you watch, and I think they'll like they themselves. They bring me a lot of joy because you know that's a role that I take with.
Speaker 1:You know a lot of pride and joy is just being their dad and my kids. You know like I always chuckle. I'm not going to be out of a job in 18 years because my son wrote in kindergarten my career that I want to be when I grow up is the Rough Rider chaplain. So I've kind of got an expiration date on my on my job, I think, because, you know, my youngest son was like Dad, I want to do what you do, yeah, which to me probably comes back to that reality of like, oh, what is what does success look like? Or what is, you know, legacy look like? It's like, well, if your kids want to grow up to be like you, you know, hopefully, you know, hopefully, that's a, that's a marker of something to be, you know, quite proud of. And so then, and then also I and it's the same cause in some regards I, I see a lot of my kids and the men that I work with, you know, and you're, you're trying to be that fatherly figure or brotherly figure or whatever it is.
Speaker 1:And you know, when you're walking through something challenging with them, and then you know they come through it and they're just, you just have so much joy and pride and watching people overcome the things that are kind of facing them.
Speaker 1:And you know, I've seen a lot of people, you know, give up, and I've seen a lot of people, you know, not want to do the hard thing because of what it might entail, and and so to sit back and kind of watch.
Speaker 1:You know a number of people that I've really come to love and to care for, you know seeing them grow up and you know officiating weddings or you know dedicating babies, like I'm now at that point where I'm like, oh, I finally get to see some of these like really key, pivotal moments in some of these guys' lives and to have the joy of being invited into those things I take, you know, great honor and privilege in. When a guy goes, hey, like would you officiate my wedding, like that's one of the most important days of that person's life, and to be invited into that just just shows that there's that level of respect and trust that you've been trying to earn for years. And you know those days where you're like, oh, did I do my job, did I accomplish something? You know are kind of all worth it when you have those moments where you just get to share in that with the people that you work with.
Speaker 2:I feel like you have joy every day.
Speaker 1:I do, you do. That's awesome, yeah, in a number of facets, and so I'm like I said, I am thankful and yeah, just even one last thing. I guess something popped up. I have got it on my note here so I should probably share it because I felt it was important earlier.
Speaker 1:But, um, the one slogan I have kind of in the back of my mind all the time is like more is caught than taught, and so somebody shared that with me early on.
Speaker 1:Like people are going to observe and learn more.
Speaker 1:The one slogan I have kind of in the back of my mind all the time is like more is caught than taught, and so somebody shared that with me early on.
Speaker 1:Like people are going to observe and learn more from you than anything that you have to teach them, and so, so, yeah, that's when I started to really come to terms with the fact that, like, people are always watching me. They're kind of they want to see like, is this real, is this not me? They're kind of they want to see like is this real, is this not? And so for me to live with you know, conviction, but also with compassion, kind of on a day to day basis, I feel like the gospel is at work in my own life, not only for myself but for others to kind of see like that's, that's what it's supposed to look like. And if I never get a chance to actually share that verbally, I would hope that you know how I live my life and how people perceive me in my relationships and in my actions and in my, in my speech, that that ultimately they would learn from that more so than just me opening my mouth.
Speaker 2:But, Jared, when you open your mouth comes out.
Speaker 1:But I get it yeah, as I said, this is hard for me because I'm like I've gotten really, you know, comfortable at the back of the room and so sometimes people are like you have something to say and I'm like, yeah, so, yeah, trying to trying to bring that out. Sometimes for me, is you know, because? Because my fear is, like, once you get to the front, like are you going to, you know, are you going to want to leave? Or you know, is that idea right Of, like what comes with being at the front, you know? Then you have a whole another list of things that you kind of have to open yourself up to as well.
Speaker 2:So All right. Well, I'm thankful that you decided you were going to talk today and shared us your story, your failures, your principles of success. Jared, it has been a great time spent with you and thank you for just taking the time today.
Speaker 1:I appreciate it and, like I said, I think hopefully there are people out there who can resonate with some aspect of my story of becoming a leader, you know, can resonate with some aspect of my story of becoming a leader Cause, like I said, there was there was times there where I felt like that wasn't necessarily the trajectory in which my story was leading.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, so if anyone wants to either engage with you about athletes in action, want to engage with you about ministry or just Jared Lacoste ministry.
Speaker 1:or just Jared Lacoste where can they find you? Yeah, I think LinkedIn would probably be one of the easiest places to go. Just Jared Lacoste. Or Athletes in Action wise, like, we have a website, athletesinactionca, and there's, you know, there's a connect tab there that, yeah, if you want to connect with me, it will eventually end up towards me. It's kind of a general service, but if you put my name in there, the office will make sure that the connection is made. We have a lot of information and different resources on our website that, hopefully, if you're looking for some way to engage your faith or even engage in the sporting community wherever you're at, we we have representation across the country and so hopefully, yeah, you would find something there that you can engage with. That would be beneficial where you're at in your own journey all right.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you again, jared, for your time today.
Speaker 1:Thank you, lisa I appreciate it all right today. Thank you, lisa, I appreciate it.
Speaker 2:All right. Well, this ends our podcast. We hope you've enjoyed our time together. If you're part of Leader Impact, you can always discuss or share this podcast with your group. And if you are not yet part of Leader Impact and would like to find out more and grow your leadership, find our podcast page on our website at leaderimpactca and check out our free leadership assessment on our website at leaderimpactca and check out our free leadership assessment. You will also find on our webpage chapter one of Braden Douglas's book Becoming a Leader of Impact. You can also check out groups available in Canada at leaderimpactca or, if you're listening from anywhere else in the world, check out leaderimpactcom or get in touch with us by email. Info at leaderimpactca and we will connect you. And if you like this podcast, please leave us a comment, give us a rating or review. This will help other global leaders find our podcast. Thank you for engaging with us and remember impact starts with you. You.
